Bonded
by DarkKitsuneFluffy
Summary: Reply to ThatOneSelfInsertGuy (TOSIG) calling me out. Yes, this is an SI. Yes, this is Rosario Vampire. And yes, this will suck. But that's why it's fun!
1. The Better Chapter 1

Bonded: A Rosario Vampire Self-Insert

Chapter 1: Meddling

Me: (I don't own anything from Rosario Vampire. (Reading, reading) Lyon, what is this?)

Lyon: [Somebody called you out. Some guy by the name of ThatOneSelfInsertGuy.]

(Oookay… -Looks through the multiverse with Lyon- which version of myself do I pick?)

[-Searching, searching- Oh, that one might work. And he changed his name!]

(To what?) [Mathias.] (So it _is_ a possibility.) [Possibly. So what powers should we give him…]

_I do not own anything Rosario Vampire_.

RVRVRVRVRVRV

Ow, my head. Where am I? Last time I checked I was at the Nintendo of America Christmas Party. I don't think there was alcohol. Maybe this is a prank by Reggie.

"Hey, do you mind if I sit here?" What? Oh, I'm on a bus. There is a- EYES, EYES, EYES! "Hey man, you okay?"

Blink and breath. "Sure." Cough, cough. Is that my voice? Is that _my _voice!? This kid looks familiar, but the world, WHO CHANGED THE ART DIRECTION!? I'm in… a… this is self-insert, isn't it? –Sigh- I figured this would happen eventually. Body check.

Big but thin. Kinda lanky. 6'4" and 200 or so pounds. I'm wearing some type of school uniform save for a pair of white sneakers –size 15ww- and a large pair of white cargo shorts. My features seem sharper than before, almost scary. A tan scarf is wrapped around my neck and glasses rest upon my face. Ernegildo Zegna? I'm happy to have you back old friend. At least my hair hasn't changed; Curly hair in a dome shape that covers my head like a beanie and comes down over one eye.

"So, what do you know about this school?" The kid's still here. Well… I guess I'm fifteen or so as well now. I can't really call him a kid. Actually I can. I'm like two heads taller than him.

"Um, my name is Aono Tsukune." Cue mental face-palm. So that's where I am. "And your name?"

"Connor Mathias. " Don't get involved. Then I'll just be doing what the author wants. Stay calm. Don't talk. Pretend to sleep. There is an awkward silence before, "Have any hobbies?" So this is the get to know you so we can be friends talk huh?

"Zzzzzzzz..."

Just let me sleep. If I get to sleep then I get to talk with whatever otherworldly entity sent me here. I had a life dammit!

"What's going on?" The brunette asks. Apparently I'm not getting to sleep. Various levels of light try to get past my eyelids and annoy me to no end. Then the lights stop and I'm sent face first into the seat in front of me. "Oh, come on!" I yell into the seat.

We come out of the tunnel and I look to the landscape. The grass is dead. There is a scarecrow held up as a signpost, the sky is orange, and the road is lined by jack-o-lanterns. Nice place.

"Everyone off the bus," the driver called. He's kinda creepy but he's still better than other bus drivers I've had. He gives Tsukune a small smile but all I get is a raised eyebrow. He must not have seen me get on. I applaud him for noticing.

I look to the scarecrow on the pole and I swear it nods to me. Is that my first clue for who sent me here, foreshadowing for my powers -which I KNOW I've been given- or is it an omen foretelling my death?

I leave Tsukune to his own devices as I head for the school. He really needs to reevaluate his life. No! No being cynical. That is just what others want. "Look out!" And down goes Tsukune. Don't turn around. Just keep walking. I need to find the headmaster. Maybe he will have some answers for me. Then again he could just be all creepy and mystical, but it doesn't hurt to try.

Up the steps, to the office. "Excuse me Miss, which way is it to the Headmaster's office?"

"Down the hall at the end. Have fuuuun." That reminded me way too much of LORE. Okay, what do you have for me, Mikogami?

I enter the office with a knock and some trepidation. "Yes, may I help you?"

"Yes sir. Could you please tell me why I am here?"

"I would assume it is because you are a student here, but it seems that is not the case." Okay, the demon priest is being straightforward so far. "You are much too old to be a student here, and yet you are not." That's the type of speech pattern I was expecting.

"So you don't know why I'm here? Fantastic. And here I thought I could trust the great Tactition to know this. I really need to get out of here."

"Yes you do. There is a kill on sight rule for humans here. Still, you do seem to have power."

"And that is a stupid rule." Wait a minute. -sigh- "I knew I got powers. Where do I get my room key?"

"With the secretary outside. I do expect you to go to your classes."

"I'm not a student, and I don't care what you say."

"If you aren't a student then you will fall under the 'kill on sight' rule."

"Right, because the being that dropped me here would let me be killed so quickly. Goodbye Headmaster."

RVRVRVRVRVRV

So this is what a dorm here is like. Kinda homey. The bed looks comfortable. The kitchen wall seems to be working as it should. The wind is a bit chilly but I've dealt with worse. The Washington coast is a cold place after all. Now let's try out that bed. First rule to self-inserts: you will find your captor in your dreams.

Zzzzzzzzz

"Wow, you are such a spoil sport."

The area is grey, like a blank canvas. In front of me stands a man about my height in dark robes. His silver, curly hair is held back in a ponytail and his skin is the color of paper. "Sorry, did I ruin your fun?"

"You know very well that you are supposed to integrate into the protagonist's plot and follow canon until you become overpowered."

"Well maybe I don't wanna follow that plot line."

"But that's the plot I layed out for you!"Why is he so strung up by this?

"Lyon?"

"Oh, so now you remember! You dropped me off the face of the earth after you joined NoA!"

"So this is revenge?"

"No, no, no, this is just a bonus on my part. We just needed a separate version of you to fill in on this challenge."

"Fantastic. Anything else I should know that may be important for my health?"

"Be creative, and you've got a visitor."

YAWN

"A visitor?" Nobody in the room. The window is still open for some reason. Is that purple hair? Oh, it's gone. Funny, why did that hair look familiar? Eh, whatever. Might as well sleep some more. I know I'm not gonna be getting much of it later on.

Zzzzzzzz

RVRVRVRVRVRV

Okay, so this is actually my second try at this chapter as I wanted it to still be comical but less predictable. Everyone review and stay Fluffy.


	2. The one thing no man can resist

Bonded: A Rosario Vampire Self-Insert

Chapter 2: A Short While Later

(Okay, I would just like to say, thank you everyone for reviewing. It was… about what I was expecting to be hit with honestly.)

[You deserved everything they had to throw at you.]

(Thanks Lyon, that means a lot.)

[Just saying what you need to hear.]

(And now back to your regularly scheduled programing.)

RVRVRVRVRV

YAWN

Oh, is it morning? No, it's the middle of the night. I guess that's what I get for sleeping in the middle of the day. No roommate, no distractions, and GOD Damn it it's cold! I really need to close that window. As I close said window I hear a knock on my door. Who could that be?

I grab my glasses and open the door cautiously. "Hello?" My voice comes across groggy and half-awake. "Who is it?"

I'm met with pointy features and greasy brunette hair. He's heavily bandaged and has one arm in a cast. I can tell he's been in a fight recently and he doesn't look happy about the results. "The name is Komiya Saizou. I'm your roommate." LYON-TEME!

"Sure, come on in." Well I guess that it makes sense, considering we are the biggest kids in school outside of the soon-to-be martial arts clubs, but still! I'm expected to room with the pity villain!?

"Your bed is closest to the door," I inform him half-heartedly.

"What, no 'how did you get these injuries?' No 'are you okay?' Geez, how heartless are you?" I stare at him, eyes half lidded.

"If you're looking to milk those injuries for pity, find someone else to talk to. Those injuries are your pride which you've obviously thrown away. Night, 'roomy.'" So that's my role. The cold hearted insomniac. I can make it work.

He goes to his bed as I pull out my… bag? Apparently Lyon didn't leave me completely helpless. Let's see, I got everything I'll need for the school year, some spare notebooks and pencils, (Haha Lyon, fanfic-ception) and a lump of clay? Oh, and some construction paper. What did Lyon say again, 'Stay creative?'" Must be important if he's this much emphasis on it.

Never mind that. School essentials, doo doo doo, textbook, textbook, textbook, origami guide? Sounds interesting. Now I know how I'm spending the rest of the night. Chapter 1, base folds… Wow I'm boring. Lyon, if you're listening, please fast forward.

RVRVRVRVRV

-With Lyon-

I can't bear to watch this any longer. Honestly, the insomniac needs to get along with the plot. Maybe… Oh, that part is coming up. But it won't be very fun to write… Dammit, what do I do? It needs to be entertaining, but how do you make that happen with someone who does nothing? Seriously, he wouldn't know entertaining if it hit him in the… I'VE GOT IT! You will thank me for this, gaijin-baka.

RVRVRVRVRV

Ok, so my prayers went unanswered. Figures, this _is_ Lyon I'm talking about. I will admit that the origami was fun. Or at least took up my boredom. –Bump-

What was that? It was kinda soft. "Hey, watch where you are going. Or did you have something else in mind?" The last part is said suggestively, as if trying to play to my desires. Please, I have the mind set of someone much more mature than- LARGE, LARGE, LARGE…

My hand moves without my consent and pokes the large soft object in front of me. "Hey!"

"Huh? Did I just… I am so sorry miss. It's just… are they natural?"

"Well of course they are. What did you expect?" Wow this girl takes pride in her chest. Well, I know that looking up could actually be a bad idea because of the whole 'monster population' so let's see what clues I can find for this girl's identity. Large breasts, playful and somewhat suggestive nature, wearing a sweater vest…

I'm… not mad right now. This may be my de-aged brain talking, but this is a very good thing right now. "Umm, hello? Are you still in there?" I nod slowly and the girl jumps for joy. That is the best thing in the world.

"Woohoo! My first snare!" Up, down, up down, up down. Blink rapidly. Slap myself.

"I can't believe I just acted like that!" And yet my eyes are still glued to those gorgeous melons. Force. Yourself. AWAY.

"Wait! You can't leave!" And I'm faced with flesh again. "My name is Kurono Kurumu, and I need you to carry my things. What class do you have next?"

"Kagome-sensei."

"Perfect, then you can walk me to our class." Her bags are thrust into my hands and she skips off down the hall. And the flesh is gone. –Sigh- Well I wasn't lying. Time to get to class.

Once inside the class, I can see the girl from earlier trying to flirt with other students. I easily slide over to her from the door. "You know, it's unbecoming for a lady to flaunt like that." Her face went red as she turned to face me. And I am looking down again… I have a problem.

"And it's unbecoming of a gentlemen to stare at a lady like you do, but I don't mind." Left right, left right, damn she's good.

"I have an unnaturally high weakness to the natural assets of women. It's something I can't break." She giggled and leant into my ear.

"And you never will." This is going to be a long couple weeks. At least I have control while her back is turned. The other poor saps will be stuck as soon as their gaze meets hers.

She makes another pass by me. I can't help myself. "Mathias."

"Excuse me?"

"Connor Mathias. That's my name." Everyone can clearly see the victorious smirk she wears, but nobody gives a damn. It's like they know I've lost, though I haven't.

"Well then, Mathias-kun, meet me after class is over." I nod slowly and watch as her 'sweater' bounces to her seat.

The rest of class goes along well enough. The problems are simple and really quite easy. It's like the teachers ony want the students to have enough education to get normal jobs like-OOOHHHHH. That is actually very smart for a school about integration. Props for Yokai Academy.

I can never bring myself to look directly at Kurumu, knowing just what that would entail. Even after class is out and I meet up with her in the cafeteria, I can't meet her gaze. Of course, it's made loads easier by the swarm of guys she's already managed to snare since 'me.' Honestly, if she ever finds out the truth, she will probably try to do to me what she tried to do to Sukune in episode two.

I try to stay quiet and unnoticed, but you notice when a 6'4" man in high school yawns from lack of sleep. It isn't quiet. "Mathias-kun, you did join me!" She giggles again and- up down, up down, up down, damn it! I cross my arms on the table and lay my head on them. My dome like hair looks like a napping Pomeranian.

"What did you need, Kurono-san?"

"Would you help me _study_ later, tonight?" I know what the wrong answer is and I shall not say it.

"Of course." Dammit.

"Great, meet me in the study hall after last period, okay?"

"Hai… -yawn-" And there's the bell.

"Later, Fuwafuwa-kun." Wait, what did she just call me? Oh now I have to know this. Dammit, I'm going to look idiotic. Meh, that never stopped me before.

"Wait, Kurono-san!"

RVRVRVRVRVRV

(And there's chapter 2. Thank you to all who reviewed. Especially one Felix Sanchez. It means a lot that anyone got enjoyment out of this other than myself. It's fun making yourself look like an idiot on the internet! Review and I'll see you next chapter.)


	3. Lyon enjoys torturing me

Bonded: A Rosario Vampire Self-Insert

Chapter 3: Lyon enjoys torturing me…

[-Looks at chapter title- Do I get more screen time?]

(If I told you, it would spoil too much for the listening audience.)

[What?]

(This is the author's notes.)

[-Eye twitch-]

(And now back to making a fool of myself.)

RVRVRVRVRVRVRV

"Ok, so now you- Are you even listening?" I don't get her. She talks like a double meaning, only to reveal she actually wanted to study, and now it seems like she doesn't even care. It's kinda fun when she's glaring away at other people. Then I can look at her face and not get snared. Her bun is pretty cute.

"Of course I am." No she isn't. Her glare is focused on everybody's favorite pink haired vampire who is currently dragging around the series' protagonist.

"Right, whatever you say, _busty_- san." I'm so glad she doesn't know English. We studied the other night and I started grumbling in my mother tongue. She heard me. Luckily she believed me when I said I was 'complimenting' her. There's a reason she needs tutoring, after all.

"What does she have that I don't?"

"Some guys just like legs. I say it's the pink hair." She growls and I have to look down before I get snared.

"Excuse me?" Okay, stay calm. This is just a misunderstanding.

"American mindset. There is no middle ground. People either like them stacked or twig thin I my experience." Of pop culture. "And pink hair is naturally less common than blue no matter where you go."

"You're American?"

"Born and raised." This whole time my eyes are in my textbook.

"What's it like?"

"Full, fat, and ignorant." I get a small laugh from that.

"Sounds like it wasn't the best place to live."

I shrug. "Food was good; unhealthy but good. The internet helps."

I caution a look up again to see she's gone back to glaring. One track mind much?

"She really bothers you, doesn't she?"

"What!? Of course not! Why would I-" "Kurono!" I'm back in the textbook by now. "Don't defend yourself on an issue like this. It makes you look stupid and prideful. I'll say this now; guys prefer honesty just as much as women do."

I found out during our last study session that 'Kurono!' gets her attention quite well.

"Honestly, if you want something done just do it already." I grab my book and head for my next class. "What a waste of a lunch period."

RVRVRVRVRVRVRV

"I challenge you, Akashiya Moka!" For the love of-! What is this woman thinking!? I walk up behind her and flick her head. My gaze never meets hers.

"This is not what I meant!" Looking around, I finally realize just how large her snare has gotten. Even Saizou fricking Komiya got caught. She doesn't seem the least bit remorseful.

"Don't stop me, Fuwafuwa-kun! This has to be done!" That doesn't sound nearly as forceful with that nickname in the mix. Apparently, fuwafuwa is the sound effect for 'fluffing' something. And I'm the only one at this school who gets the irony. How sad.

"_You're acting like such a brat."_ Really glad she doesn't know English. –Sigh-

"Oh, Connor-san, right? I haven't seen you since the bus ride." God dammit! I'm caught in the plot! [Heheheh.]

Before I can react to Tsukune showing up, Kurumu grabs him. "Come on, Aono-kun, you'll side with me right?"

"_Yeah, he's gone._ –sigh-"

"No, Tsukune's my friend. He would not throw that away so easily!"

"_So much drama._"

"Friend? I thought I was just your food. Your actions haven't been very friendly. Who could ever love someone like that?"

And now Moka is in tears. Faaaaantastic. Great job Kurumu.

"Great job _busty_-chan, you just ruined someone's life. I hope you feel proud of yourself." And she's just hopping in glee. Up down, up down, damn it! 'Should I?... Yeah, she deserves it. Sorry busty-chan.'

I roll my tongue into the back of my mouth, take a deep breath, and hiss.

A piercing whistle echoes through the halls, causing her to lose her balance and fall into a pile on the floor, butt in the air. She quickly recovers out of embarrassment; luckily none of the zombified students woke up.

"Why did you do that!? I won!" She turned to glare at me and-

RVRVRVRVRVRV

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! About time! Oh, it's Lyon now. I glared down at the young succubus with a sinister smile. Strange combo, but I make it work. I can't help it. I crack up laughing.

"What?" How intelligent.

"Did you really think that would work!? Bwahahahaha! Well, technically it did…, but it didn't! I love not making sense!"

I turn around to leave when, "Stop, I order you to stop." –more laughter-

"You wanna know the truth? That was the first time you used that on me. Or was it? You'll never truly know. Bwahahahahaha!" Sometimes it's fun to play the villain.

She's shaking harshly. Rage, betrayal, disbelief, I don't care. This is her problem.

"You aren't really Mathias-kun, are you?" Simultaneously, I hear her fear and feel Mathias stirring. I can work with this.

"How do you know that I'm not? I could have been deceiving you the whole time. Better luck next time, _Busty_-chan." I laugh all the way down the hall and leave her confused. Now to set up the next part of the scene. Power is a good thing to have. It lets you have so much more fun while meddling, and meddle I shall. Bwahahahaha!

RVRVRVRVRVRV

Oh god, what happened? I feel sluggish. How long have I been out?

"Tsukune-kun, you'd never leave me, right?" Wait, what? Where are my glasses?

"Please, kiss me. Make me forget everything." Why am I in the infirmary? This makes no seeense… Lyon!

"I'm sorry, but I can't. I can't hurt my friend any longer." [It's your move, weeabu. Take it.] Kuso!

"What is the problem with you!? Why is she so much better than me! I will kill you, Aono Tsukune!"

I hear the tearing of clothing and a sharp 'shing' and I immediately know what scene this is. Dammit. At once I jump out from the curtained infirmary bed and in front Kurumu. Moka rushes into the door and knocks my flying body into Kurumu. Sadly, I take the full impact.

Since I essentially got _punched out a window by a vampire_ I don't hear what Moka says to Tsukune in the infirmary. I _do_ hear Kurumu's grunts as we receive the impacts with the ground. Ow, that hurts. Yet… I'm in heaven.

"Mmmm, mf ith fntstk." We ended up rolling in the mid, her landing on top of me. Guess what landed on my face?

"Ah! Mathias-kun!?" Aww, why'd you have to scramble backwards?

Wow, I'm sick.

"You okay, Kurono-san?" I try to move, only to hear my arm snap. "Aaaaaaaahhhhh!"

That hurts! [Don't worry, it's your non-dominant arm.] Gee, thanks!

"Wait, are you really-" Boom! Oh shit. Moka. [Want my help?] Really? [NO!]

The vampire jumps down from the window, landing gracefully with a full flip. Meh, I give it a seven. Her gait as she walks is menacing, and rightly so. I'm practically suffocating on her Yokai. It's almost… intoxicating. I look to Kurumu and see her scoot back. She's so cute when she's scared. Moka… doesn't look so tough. She seems so slow. Why do anime characters take forever to do anything?

I feel… strange; almost drunk. I look up to Moka's face and see a raised brow. I feel itchy for some reason. And hot… Probably nothing. Hehe, she's moving at a snail's pace. Everything looks diagonal now.

"Hehe, why are you so slow? I thought you were going to kill us? Or is the all mighty vampire too good for that?" A whimper escapes Kurumu as another burst of Yokai escapes pinkie. Oh, this feels good. My arm is steaming now. Cool…

"You'll regret those words, ant."

"Ooh, I'm so scared." I hoist myself up onto my feet, left arm hanging limp. "What are you going to do, kick me?"

"If I'm so-"

"Time's up!" A glowing circle appears under her feet, rapidly filling with symbols. For some reason, she just stands there, looking at it with shocked wide eyes. Not. Moving. The glyph finishes, sending her through a good dozen trees before coming to a crashing halt.

"That was fun."

The vampires stands up again with a crack of her neck. "Was that supposed to-" She's sent flying by another glyph.

"Honestly, why do you try to taunt during a fight." The next thing I see is a flash of silver and a strong leg headed towards my face. Goodbye consciousness.

RVRVRVRVRV

I'm dreaming? I'm dreaming! That means I'm not dead! Where's Lyon?

"Hey there."

"What happened!?" Yes, I meant to blow out his eardrums. He quickly cleaned his ear with his pinky.

"Still got a good pair of lungs, I see."

"Explain, now!"

"Well it's not like I could have changed your past. That could have gone horribly. So I did the safest thing I could do. I de-aged you, gave you powers based on myself, and threw you into this world."

-eye twitch-

"Those powers would of course fall under my domains, so yes, you now have some control over chaos and magic."

"And…" Yeah, he's not done. Not by a long shot.

"Of course tapping into my power will take its toll on your body." That explains the irritated skin.

"And outside Yokai may cause you to go chaotic. Just saying." Fantastic.

"And Kurumu may want to beat you into the ground."

"What!?" "Goodbye." TEME! "Stay creative, warlock."

RVRVRVRVRVRV

I find myself waking up in the infirmary again. My left arm is in a cast and it feels like a bulldozer slammed into my head. Oh right, that was Moka. That probably wasn't my best idea. Then again, I was all too literally drunk on power. I'm getting out of here.

Turns out that Moka, Tsukune, and Kurumu were all in their canon places, the school steps. Easy enough, now how to approach them?

I stand at the top of the steps and slowly make my way down. "Umm, hey." All three turn towards me. Instantly they go on guard. "Is something wrong?"

"Who are you?" Excuse me?

"Um, excuse me? Kurono-san, is everything okay?" She hasn't tried to use the charm yet, which is a good thing. Tsukune seems skeptical about me while Moka is glaring harshly. Her rosary is glowing like a sun.

"Are you really Mathias-kun?"

"Umm… _Lyon! Get down here now!_" A quick flash of light and he's there now.

"_What is it weeabu? I thought I told you everything._"

"Apparently not! Now what did you do while I was in the infirmary!" He flashes a sly grin to Kurumu-san.

"Hello again, _busty_-chan." I can see Sukune spit out some cookie he had been munching on. So he knows some English.

"Lyon, what did you do?"

"She charmed you, so I took over. Good job avoiding her gaze by the way. Even if the distraction was a bit amoral." And now I match Kurumu-san. We're twin apples!

"It was you!? Who are you anyway."

"Bwahahahaha! I am Lyon! You can consider me Mathias's alter ego of sorts."

"He becomes more dominant based on the amount of Yokai around me, that's why I went a bit crazy after we landed outside the infirmary. I hope you can forgive me, Kurumu-san."

Lyon scoffs and turns away. "It was fun messing with you, _busty_. Matty, give Mikogami my greetings. Bwahahaha!" Another flash of light and he's gone. I look to Kurumu for reassurance.

"Oooooh… Fine, I forgive **you**, but not him."

"Hehe, thanks for that. It means a lot." And that's the first two weeks done. Hopefully things will get easier from here.

RVRVRVRVRVRV

[You poor creature. You already know that answer. Bwahahahaha!]

(And with that ends chapter 3. Hope you all enjoyed, please leave a review, and see you next chapter. Bye! And yes Lyon, you got your screen time.)


	4. A pervert among men

Bonded: A Rosario Vampire Self-Insert

Chapter 4: Why doesn't anybody listen?

-Speech-

Japanese

_English_

**Lyon**

RVRVRVRVRV

_Get back my friendship with Kurumu, check. Get roped into the plot against my will, double check. Stopping my new friends from killing each other, now that I'm proud of. Seriously, if I hadn't negated Tsukune's choice for the swimming club then I would have been in very deep water –no pun intended. Also, any of them, and me, could have died. We ended up in the newspaper club after that. Damn freaky cat lady._

_Oh, and Kurumu still ended up fan-girling over Tsukune, so there's that nail in the coffin. –Sigh-_

"Dude, turn off the light. I'm trying to sleep."

"Deal with it, Komiya." I put my pencil in my journal as I finish writing. Lyon may annoy me, but the notebooks are very nice to have. And it's really the only thing I have to do besides study when I can't sleep; which is almost every night.

I put my journal in my bag and pick up my origami book. 'Be creative' he says. Fine then! You want me to experiment, so be it. We'll see who's laughing in the end. Lyon! Time skip!

RVRVRVRVRV

"Okay everyone, looks like we are just missing one person. He's the only senior member of the club, so try to show some respect." The doors to the club room opened, revealing a lanky teen in a slightly messy school uniform, the collar undone and a button open, revealing his (MANLY!) chest. A wolf head pendant hung from his neck to lie upon his chest. His neck length, sable hair was kept from his face by a red hair band.

"Everyone, meet Ginei Morioka, the club president." Nekonome sensei introduced. The second year waved before rushing over to Moka with a (Oh so timely) bouquet of roses. Sensei simply laughed and left us to our own devices. That was when Gin took the front desk.

"Okay everyone, like sensei said, my name is Ginei Morioka. Please call me Gin." His voice then took a serious tone.

"Our purpose is to find every single piece of hard hitting dirt we can and spread it to the public. If you aren't ready to pour every ounce of your blood, sweat, and tears into this club; then get out. We won't accept anything but the best!"

Tsukune looks scared, Moka looks awed, and Kurumu looks confused. I'm trying my hardest to not laugh.

3… 2… 1…

"Just kidding!" Oh, the other's reactions, -GASP. - Priceless. "This club is pretty laid back. Just find something for us to use each week and you should be fine."

"Wow, just wow."

-A little later-

"Hey, could you raise those a bit higher?" Baka hentai! How the girls, or at least Moka, fell for this- I will never know. No! Tsukune, don't sit next to him!

"_Grahhh! You're both idiots!_"

"_But he's gullible, which I can use to my advantage." _Gin speaks English!?

Tsukune takes his place squatting next to Gin underneath the girls, flailing back comically at what he sees.

"Woah, Aono-kun. Get enough of an eyeful, did you?"

"WHAT!?" Oh boy, I had better get over there. This could turn ugly. Scratch that. It will get ugly if the girls' glares are anything to go by.

"Tsukune-kun, did you peep on me?"

"Um, well, um…"

"Calm down Moka. No harm was done."

"So he did peep!"

"He was just trying to figure out what Gin was looking at." I shrug as if it's no big deal. Honestly, _women_. "Come on Tsukune. I believe the girls have to 'discuss' something with the club president."

Screams fade into the background as we leave. Looks like I was right to put the air quotes around discuss. And this is why women are the scariest thing to men. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and that doesn't even factor in the Yokai part of it.

R.I.P. Hentai-senpai

-The next day-

Origami is fun, but can get repetitive after too long. It's like playing anything by Tecmo Koei. Immensely fun, but binging on it will leave you exhausted on it. Maybe I should draw something with the notebooks I got from Lyon.

I grab my notebook from my bag and a couple pencils and start sketching.

"What are you drawing?"

"Hmm? Oh, hello again, _busty-san_. It's nothing really." My eyes drift to the page I was just working on. It was a sketch for a design I still held dear. Sadly it never got published. A large, rather intimidating figure in a cloak was holding his hands over a book as if puppeteering. Several straps of silver and black adorned his robe which was otherwise purple. The only visible thing from his face was a sickeningly wide grin.

Beneath the book was a glyph array and powerful winds were simultaneously flipping the pages of the book and guiding random pages to the book from the air.

"What is it?" I can't stop the nostalgic smile.

"I call it 'Rereading the Plot.' One of my older ideas."

"I like it. Are you in Ishigami-sensei's art class?"

"No, this is just from lots of practice." Why are you looking at me like that?

"Funny, I didn't expect this from you."

"I've always enjoyed creating. Despite popular belief, Americans aren't stupid… most of the time. We just let our emotions run wild… which admittedly is not the best way to do things."

"You've thought about this quite a bit, haven't you?" I can't help but smile. She's honest to a fault.

"When you're essentially a hikikomori, you have a lot of time to think. Home wasn't always best for me. I didn't have a true friend until about age eleven, and no stable friend group until just after. Then Lyon showed up and, well… you get the idea." Was that a shiver I saw? Wow… did I scare her that badly?

"Yeah, I get it. Anyway, the club meeting is about to start, just thought I should tell you. Later, Fuwafuwa-kun." She leaves before I can say anything. I do the only logical thing.

Slam my head on the desk.

'What am I supposed to do!? It's like she wants me to chase after her while she's chasing Tsukune! And I just know that Lyon is laughing his magical rear off at the Index. Hopefully I will never have to explain _that_ to my friends.'

Pulling myself from the desk, I make my way to the club room, only to find Tsukune beat into the ground. Moka briskly pushes past me as I enter. 'What am I forgetting now?'

"Yo, Tsukune. What did I miss?"

"He was peeping in the girl's showers." Seriously Kurumu? "Proof?" She just handed me an envelope and I nearly laughed at the contents.

"You do realize that this is Tsukune we are talking about, right?" Wow, she is seriously cute when she puffs out her cheeks… Damn it, MOEEEEEE! Had to get that out of my system.

"But… the pictures! Gin caught him!"

"And what would Gin be doing at the girl's showers?"

"He was catching Tsukune!" –sigh-

"Think about it _busty_-san. Why would your destined one –of all people- peep into the girl's bathroom."

And with that I take my leave.

-Some nights later-

Kurumu, Tsukune and I waited patiently at the lip of the roof for the culprit to arrive with his victim. I know that isn't the best way to look at it, but what other way is there? Think of Gin as a host club escort?

On second thought, no.

"When are they…?" Tsukune shut up at the sight of Gin and Moka arriving on the roof.

"So Gin, why did you want to meet me up here?"

"I wanted to say sorry for your loss. I know Tsukune meant something deep to you."

"Senpai, I just never thought of Tsukune as that type of person."

"The awkward, shy act was obviously just a ploy to get your attention. Please, count on me at any time. You really are beautiful tonight." He looks up to the full moon. "Under the full moon."

"Um… thank you?" Gin moved closer to the vampiress.

"I'm sure if you gave me a chance, I could make all your pain go away." He was now holding her hands. I can see Kurumu bristling next to me.

"Senpai, you're scaring me." He pulls her even closer.

"I'm sorry Moka. The full moon makes me go crazy, and you're too beautiful to ignore." A sharp intake of breath escapes Moka and she starts struggling.

"You just groped me!"

"Are you sure I'm not just holding you extra tender?" he asks rhetorically.

-FLASH, FLASH, FLASH-

"What the hell!"

Several bright flashes went off at once and paper fell from the sky into my hands.

"**You're welcome, Fuwafuwa-baka." **Um… thanks Lyon. I guess. Oh well, time to be heroic.

"I called it." Kurumu, why?

"No you didn't. I did. Taking false credit is unbecoming of you." I turn to Gin while flapping Lyon's photos as a taunt. "_What's your move, _hentai-senpai?"

"_I'm going to tear your head off, _Gaijin."

"Tsukune, get to- OOF!" Okay, werewolf punches hurt. Now I least Tsukune understood what I wanted as he ran for Moka. Funny, the punch probably should have hurt more than that. Why am I feeling dizzy? I feel… warm.

A shockwave shakes the campus as a familiar sense of power washes over me. Just this much is enough for me to stand back up again. Climbing back to the roof, I can feel Lyon forcing himself in.

"**Don't worry, just let it go. It's not like I can afford to lose you right now." **Lyon, do you realize just how much of a headache you are?

More power floods the stairwell I'm climbing. That must have been Gin going into his true form. I reach the final door before the roof and fall to one knee.

The power! It feels so good! Oh YES! LYON!

"**Yes?" **Good, I'm amusing him.

"I need a flashy entrance." His laughter echoes through my thoughts as my request is granted. A glyph appears at my feet, slowly traveling up my steaming form.

"**Give the pervert hell."**

RVRVRVRVRVRV

The two Yokai on the roof stop fighting as thunder rolls across the skies. The sky is empty save the full moon and a single cloud. Their breaths hitch as a maniacal cackle echoes through the air on a wave of madness. The sky changes from the Moka's regular bloody red to a surreal green before twisting into twenty different colors.

The apex of the color spectrum opened, letting out a flurry of paper, all of it funneling to the roof of the building at a single point. Several sheet currents shoot from the funnel, effectively mummifying Moka and Gin up to their necks.

"What is this sorcery!?" Inner Moka yells out.

More laughter is her answer. A bolt of lightning drops from the sky, the funnel guiding it to the roof. The vortex disperses as the next crack of thunder shakes the skies, revealing me in all my steaming glory.

"How is this possible!? You were so weak!" Gin cried out. He flinches as I look at him. The humidity from my body caused my hair to fall flat, hiding everything above my mouth. My blank face is shattered as a sickening grin stretches from ear to ear. I can hear the corners of my mouth tear. Strips of skin are tearing off my arms.

I don't know what he sees of my eyes behind the hair, but he seems sufficiently unnerved.

"You know, senpai." My voice echoes in triplicate. The paper from before still floats around us. "That punch really hurt." The paper above us starts to shift. "Why don't I return the favor?" The paper twists in on itself and forms multiple layers, each one sturdier than the last. Then the layers form two clumps which only build onto themselves. Protrusions build at the ends of the clumps in five places, leaving little to the imagination.

Two giant paper hands float before me, moving like the practiced hands of a marionette. I put my own hands to my mouth letting out a mock smooch sound. "_Magnifique." _And just for the intimidation factor, I have one of the hands form a fist and punch into the open palm of the other. The unexpected paper crunch definitely helped.

Gin attempted to roll away, only to be grabbed by one of the giant hands. The other gently pushed Moka over to Tsukune.

"What are you doing!? That dog is my opponent!" I simply give her a 'shoo-shoo' gesture, which the hand promptly mimics.

My attention turns back to Gin who's started howling, probably an attempt to call for help. I really am so glad this world is an anime art style. It makes things so much easier to look at. Like him screaming from the pressure! Now what else can I do? It has to be humiliating… OH! Oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, Lyon! Hehehehe!

"**Do it. I'll make sure it works."**

I put my (normal) hands together with my ring fingers and pinkies locked. My thumbs, index, and middle fingers are out like a pistol. "Secret technique." I disappear into a sea of paper which the hands disperse into. The werewolf lands on his stomach, his rump high in the air. Some sheets appear behind him which I walk out of with confidence. My hands thrust forward.

"Thousand years of death!" Gin sails through the air, never stopping his yowls of pain until a loud whump is heard. A cloud of smoke rises in the distance.

"I need to… do… that…" Slam. –Black-

RVRVRVRVRVRVRV

Oh, my head. Why is my jaw sore? The last thing I remember… riiiigghhht… I really need practice controlling Lyon.

"**Hahahaha! Good luck with that one!"** I'm really not in the mood for this.

Perfect, I'm in the infirmary… again. Looks like I'm still in my outfit from the night with Gin. I wonder how that turned out?

"So the kohai is finally awake, huh?" Speak of the devil. I give him a tired look.

"You poked me in my butt. Not cool dude," he scolds.

"To be fair, I was all too literally drunk on power."

"Yeah, the others told me about your condition." At least he's honest.

"Just one thing. How do you know English so well?" He gives his wolfish grin.

"_Online webcams._" I should have known…

"Anyway, I've got to get to class. You should be excused within the next day, so don't worry. I'm pretty sure Tsukune can give you any late homework." –sigh of relief- "Oh, and you may want to look in a mirror when you get the chance." What?

I wait until he leaves to go over to the mirror. "Wow, he wasn't kidding."

I run my fingers over the creases of my mouth in wonder. Small scars ran from the creases up my face about three centimeters. Similar scars could be seen on my arms.

"Well… this will either drive more people away or help me get a date. Maybe both. I'm hungry."

"I knew you would say that." I… oh!

"Yuji-sensei!"

"It is good to see you up and moving again, Connor-kun. You've been out for three days."

That fact hits me like a hammer.

"Don't worry. I've got you covered." The middle-aged doctor promptly pulled out a container.

"Thank you, sensei." I throw open the plastic container. Onigiri! Yeah rice balls!

"Now eat up. Someone your size should be eating much more than that, but it's a start. If you hadn't been given a blood transfusion you would have died." Excuse me!?

"An anonymous donator gave you some blood to keep you alive. You should be grateful."

"Of course, sensei. Very grateful," I manage between mouthfuls of sweet sticky rice. And I think those were boiled shrimp! I barely registered his sigh.

"Get better soon, Connor-kun."

RVRVRVRVRVRV

Here you go TOSIG. Chapter 4. 2700+ words. Enjoy while I try to come up with new events. Next chapter, Yukari. Ja ne!


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